By Bill Burgman

Youth sports leagues are great for kids: They provide exercise, develop skills and teach valuable lessons. However, the “must win” mentality of our culture has resulted in some problems, one of which is inappropriate behavior by parents.

Coach needs to take active role.

Whether or not officials and/or league organizers are present at games can make a difference in the conduct of parents or any other spectators. Regardless, the control of parental behavior is ultimately the responsibility of one person — the coach. He or she has to take the initiative to spell out in no uncertain terms what is expected of these people. Many coaches send out a letter; others arrange a meeting, which is even better. But they should get to know the parents, share their coaching philosophy and goals, and encourage involvement (keeping stats, bringing drinks, etc.). Each coach must also be an excellent model of good behavior and hold parents to the same standard.

Undertrained coaches can be problem.

Youth leagues are usually in need of, and are occasionally desperate for, coaches; one obvious reason is that the stress of dealing with certain types of parents burns them out! Consequently, individuals who are chosen to coach are sometimes undertrained, abusive to players (physically or mentally), or overzealous (the coach who holds two weekly practices when league rules allow only one).

Parents can help.

First, maintain communication with the coach and voice your feelings (but if your intention is to criticize, do it privately). Second, (for future reference) ask the coach to organize a pre-season meeting for parents. Bring up the subject, or ask to coach to do so, and encourage dialogue. That simple step will create an awareness of a potential problem. Parents who do not attend should be sent a copy of the minutes of the meeting. This can also be a good time to appoint a team mom, organize a schedule for bringing snacks and just make friends. Third, insist, or at least request, that the league have a training program for coaches. Finally, consider being a coach! If you can be a good role model and a motivator, you will probably do a fine job.

For additional information please contact NIFS at 317.274.3432.